posted on 14/4/2022 10:58.there's more... - Gramsci.

 

a. “All guidance was followed completely in No 10”

 

b. “There was no party and no Covid rules were broken”

 

c. “I have been repeatedly assured there were no parties”

 

d. “I follow the rules” 

e. “There was no Christmas party. Covid rules have been followed at all times”

 

f. “I can understand how infuriating it must be to think that the people who have been setting the rules have not been following the rules, because I was also furious” 

68. Rishi Sunak – last year's Best Available Tory whose primary skill now appears to be removing his jacket on Instagram – also got fined, even though he had told parliament “I did not attend any parties”, which was another flagrant lie 

69. Sunak didn’t resign either

 

70. A whole fesnying (google it) of Tory MPs rushed out to independently tweet nearly identical messages of irrumating (don’t google it) support for Johnson 

71. These were led by be-Tangoed Party Chairman and adenoidal Morph cosplayer Oliver Dowden, who said he was “fully behind” the PM, the ideal position from which to stab him if the polling turns bad 

72. It turns out it was absolutely right for Allegra Stratton to resign for making a joke about illegal parties she hadn't attended, but absolutely wrong for Boris Johnson or Rishi Sunak to resign for attending those illegal parties 

73. Later, somebody who was genuinely prepared to admit that he is Grant Shapps was sent out to defend Johnson, immediately got confused by his brief, and said Johnson’s actions were “indefensible” 

74. Various floundering attempts at avoiding consequences were deployed, such as: Johnson can’t resign cos we’re at war

 

75. We’re not at war. Although don't put it past them to declare war if it buys them an hour to clean up Johnson's latest stinky brown gift to the nation 

76. The next attempt to keep Johnson in power came from a backbencher struck with the brilliant idea of stating in public that all the alternative potential Tory leaders were “damaged people”, which isn’t exactly wrong, but is a monumentally stupid thing to admit out-loud 

77. Another Tory argued Johnson couldn’t resign, because that would send a message to Russia that we’re a soft touch, somehow convincing himself Russia hadn’t figured this out for themselves during all their years of giving money to Tories so they could avoid the law 

78. Reports emerged that the world-leading PM wanted to recall parliament to discuss the risk of chemical weapons in Ukraine

 

79. And then reports emerged that Ukraine could go **** itself, cos there was no way our world-leading PM wanted to face parliament right now 

80. The next desperate gambit was to insist the PM hadn’t broken any laws because he’d only broken the law for 9 minutes

 

81. So presumably the "party of law and order" is now behind the notion that an 8-minute burglary doesn't really count. Especially if nobody eats cake 

82. Johnson, leader of this seemingly eternal gob****e jamboree, has already said he attended a party for 25 minutes, so that idea floundered, and the burgary is off

 

83. Next preposterous claim: the PM didn’t understand the rules, and therefore wasn’t immoral, merely stupid 

84. Unfortunately the Tory MPs using this defence have merely shown they're immoral AND stupid

 

85. Gibbering ukulele fanatic and dying palm-tree Michael Fabricant had a go at defending the PM by insisting NHS doctors get ****ed at work all the time 

86. Hospitals don’t allow alcohol on the premises – not even in a suitcase