posted on 25/3/2022 13:52The week in Tory, continued - Gramsci.

47. And Sunak just pushed another 1.3 m into poverty. He's the best one. They keep saying he's the best Tory

 

48. Warming up for his pitch for becoming next Bull****ting PM, Sunak told parliament he was cutting taxes as he announced the highest jump in taxes since the 1940s 

49. He boasted of "the biggest cut in fuel tax 70 years", taking petrol prices all the way back to where they were 4 days earlier

 

50. A month after claiming he’d created the "fastest-growing economy in the G7", he's caused the biggest drop in living standards since the 50s 

51. But – huzzah – at least we’ll get a 1p tax cut in 2024, coincidentally scheduled for the day before the general election is pencilled in.

 

52. Sunak then posed for perfectly life-like photos depicting him – the richest MP there has ever been – putting petrol into his Kia Rio 

53. He said he was cutting VAT on solar panels which "the EU would not allow us to do"

 

54. The EU did it last year

 

55. Sunak then teed-up us blowing a hole in the NI Protocol, which Johnson negotiated, told voters was "a great deal", and forms the basis of his 80-seat majority 

56. This brings us to Brexit, and the USA said breaking the Protocol mean they wouldn’t even attempt a trade deal

 

57. And then the USA said no matter what, a trade deal with a "shrinking UK" - which was the whole basis of our Brexit plan - wouldn’t be worth their time and effort 

58. Not that it matters much, since the Public Accounts Committee said Brexit trade deals will "not deliver any actual economic benefits"

 

59. Former Brexit Party MEP Ben Habib announced plans to take Johnson to the Supreme Court to prove Brexit is worse than remaining in the EU 

60. More Quantum Fluctuating Tory Manifesto news, as Oliver Dowden was back to hit out against "net-zero dogma", seemingly unaware he fought an election on a manifesto promising to deliver net-zero

 

61. P&O sacked 800 workers and then rehired replacements at 30% of minimum wage 

62. The govt said it was shocked and appalled by this sudden news, despite having been told by P&O the day before it happened, and doing nothing to prevent it

 

63. The Tories now claim it P&O have broken the law (and the Tories let them, but shhhhh) 

64. A maritime law specialist said it isn’t actually against the law, cos the legislation P&O used was signed off by Chris Grayling, the Home Bargains Pennywise, in 2018

 

65. Even so, the govt was so upset that Grant Shapps and Kwasi Kwarteng tweeted an angry tweet about it 

66. They addressed the tweet to a man who had resigned as P&O chairman months before any of this happened

 

67. Then they deleted the tweet and sent it again to the right man

 

68. And then irony no-fly-zone Kwarteng said P&O’s ineptitude had "lost the trust of the public" 

69. Clattering halfwit Natalie Elphicke was so incensed she told a protest rally that she would "be marching for the people of Dover"

 

70. Three days later, she abstained from voting to save P&O jobs

 

72. Grant Shapps said Tories would send a message that P&O sacking workers was "disgraceful treatment that would never be tolerated"

 

73. The same Shapps - perhaps using a different identity - was author of a paper arguing "it should be easier for firms to sack workers" 

74. P&O had taken £10m grants to furlough workers, £150m as a bailout, and then its owners paid £250m to shareholders

 

75. To prove how terribly cross Tories were about all this, they gave the P&O owners an additional £50m as part of Rishi Sunak’s ever-so-clever Freeport Scheme 

76. So crepuscular Regency abattoir-creeper Jacob Rees-Mogg sympathetically said he intended to scrap even more employment rules

 

77. He said "safety laws that are good enough for India are good enough for UK"

 

78. Workplace deaths per year in the UK: 112

 

79. In India: 48,000 

80. Speaking of avoidable mass-deaths, despite the govt writing a terse memo telling the pandemic to pack it in, infections are up 400% since mask restrictions were lifted

 

81. 3.3 million people were infected in just 7 days

 

82. Admissions in England are up 26% in a week 

83. So health secretary Sajid Javid moved on from last week’s soothing advice to "brace yourselves" for loads of deaths, and now says primary school kids should "socialise a bit less". Cos cutting down on 7-year-olds having dinner parties beats simple preventative measures 

84. Speaking of utter failure to perform basic duties, senior officials reported the PM is "too lazy" and "unfocused" to read briefing papers, even on Ukraine

 

85. Instead, they send him summaries of sensitive material in WhatsApp messages, in breach of govt security regulations 

86. All Johnson's WhatsApp messages are still there, except for the ones about Covid contracts, which he seems to have entirely accidentally deleted, just as the Covid enquiry begins. The "delete awkward evidence" button is in the Settings menu of WhatsApp 

87. Also, Matt Hancock failed to declare WhatsApp messages he exchanged with disgraced former Tory MP Owen Paterson during last year’s illegal lobbying scandal

 

88. And his week Tories dropped plans to cap earnings from MP’s second jobs, which they promised after Paterson 

89. They then rejected new rules to prevent "discriminatory language" in parliament

 

90. Which brings us the person in charge of equality, Kemi Badenoch, who said the black schoolgirl Child Q being strip-searched just shows how much the UK cares about minorities 

91. She then boasted the British Empire achieved "good things", overlooking the small matter of 100 million deaths

 

92. Despite this, dying palm-tree Michael Fabricant rushed out to boast UK still had an excellent "soft-power" score of 64/100

 

93. It was 75/100 before Brexit 

94. Finally, glistening human polyp David Cameron tried to rehabilitate his rep by posing for photos at one of the 2800 foodbanks his own policies had created

 

95. And research showed his decision to "cut the green crap" has added £150 a year to every fuel bill in the country.

All done by (Twitter) @RussInCheshire